Once upon a time, I gave up. I was burned out from treating my son with Autism and wilted away when my daughter got diagnosed with an untreatable bone disease that caused one leg to stop growing.
It's tough for me to speak of, but I turned to anything that made me feel numb... alcohol, marijuana, Xanax and Adderral were my drugs of choice. I wanted to pretend I was perfect, forget about the pain. The pain of having a messed up marriage. The pain of having people in my life I couldn't fix or help. I forgot about fixing myself.
One day, I hit rock bottom. I stopped everything cold turkey. I couldn't stop the anxiety, paranoia and panic attacks. I went to my therapist appointment and she had cancelled due to severe snowy weather. I phoned my 1 friend. She encouraged me to go to Linden Oaks for intake, a local mental health and treatment facility.
I drove home, kissed my family goodbye and never looked back. I spent 7 long days getting help.
Now I know there are a million ways to be a good mom. The most important way.... I'm 7 months clean from addictions that started when I was just 13 years old.
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